Lately I've only been getting any attention on A4A from non-Japanese and it's kind of starting to bother me. It's not that I'm not attracted to non-Japanese, it's just that it's highlighting a problem that's all too clear in the gay world in Tokyo: racism. While I'll be the first to admit that there is a lot of racism in the gay world in America (mainly against people of African and Asian descent), it's way beyond that here. On Jack'd, the gay hookup app for smart-phones which is more popular here than Grindr, the number of profiles that say "ONLY JAPANESE" are staggering. And this isn't just referring to non-Asians. It's all non-Japanese. Many profiles decry Korean and Chinese guys as people that are not worth their time.
Now, obviously this isn't always the case. Many Japanese guys are looking for someone from a culture they are interested in. Like if they studied abroad in America, they tend to be really attracted to Americans (the reverse of me!). But it gets kind of out of hand across the board when you combine this racism with the fact that those who might be interested are so passive that it borders on uninterest (and yes, I do know the different between uninterest and being passive). A usual conversation with an interested-but-passive Japanese guy usually starts with them messaging me. I then respond enthusiastically and they respond back, enthusiastically. I send something back, but then conversation either ceases or just slows to a dull, pointless "How's the weather?" trickle.
So, my advice: just take all these Japanese snubs in stride. I know many a happy interracial couple (well, and many unhappy ones as well). The key is to put yourself out there as much as possible. But I guess maybe I'm not the best one to go for advice on that, as I've only had one such Japanese boyfriend which I'll talk about later.
Hi.
ReplyDeleteProbably you are not checking this website anymore and i don't know who reads this post, but i'm pretty sure most of those "JAPANESE ONLY" means "(I speak) JAPANESE ONLY". I know it because i'm Japanese as well!
No wander many Japanese feel uncomfortable when talked in English since they're ashamed of their poor English (they can't speak English mainly because pf this even if they know enough about the language).
I'm not saying there's no racism in Japan, but i just wanna say you don't need to worry about it. It's true that people tend to be xenophobic in Japan but foreigners (especially westerners) are normally welcomed.